What will people think? This question has held me back from my full potential – for the longest time. Where I come from, you don’t just act how you want to act. You think about others, about the community first. As I was growing up, this concern for the community slowly turned into excessive care about my appearance. And that’s the way it has become pretty much everywhere, especially with social media.

It’s all about the way we’re going to appear to the world; how many likes or comments you’ll get as a reflection of your own self-worth and validation.

Living for yourself may not be easy. I’ve often found myself pulled between what I want and what my family would prefer. And to tell you the truth it is still challenging sometimes. But, I’ve learned to focus on myself and make decisions that are aligned with my true self without looking for external validation. Here is how you can do it too.

3 ways you can help yourself stop caring too much

1. Acknowledge who you are

Identify what you want to achieve in your life. More often than not, most of us do not know what we want, and that is perfectly normal. A tip is to create a list of sentences starting with “I am” or “I want”.

• “I want to become a leader”
• “I am kind, caring and nurturing”

Once you have your own standards for what you want from your life, then it’s time to align your decision making process with those standards. This means creating and structuring your life around what matters to you most.

2. Change your self-talk

Self-Talk can be positive and negative, encouraging and distressing. It is up to you to shape the outcome of your self-talk. Shift your inner-dialogue from “I can’t” to “How can I do it”?

If you – yourself – don’t think you can do it, how will you ever be able to do it? You’ve the power to change the narrative of the story you are telling yourself.

Don’t underestimate the power of the words you tell yourself.

3. Detach yourself from the need to be liked

Not everyone has to like you. As a matter of fact, many of the people you meet may not like you. And that’s okay. You have neither the time nor the energy to cater to a gazillion friendships and other relationships. Take it as a blessing that frees you up to build strong relationships with those who are meant to be in your life.

A big part of happiness is seeing yourself improve day by day.

Live a life you are proud of, step outside your comfort zone, learn new things and always do your best and constantly push yourself to grow.

Bottom line: External validation is not necessary to approve your worth.

Watch the video: How to break your LIMITING beliefs and get rid of your negative thoughts

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With your success in mind...Darine