In today's issue, I'm going to share 5 highly effective communication habits to get what you want.

Your #1 influence tool is your conversation skills.

Conversing, networking and building relationships is at the core of both career and life success.  Being able to converse freely, confidently and, in most cases, briefly, signals to those around you that you’re in control and self-assured. And, most importantly, that you care about other people.

The challenge

A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way we lost that balance. Part of that is due to our devices that we either always have in our hands or close enough that we would grab them very quickly. 

Imagine that during the conversation, the person you’re speaking to is checking email or texting away on his or her cell phone. Or, what if he or she keeps interrupting before you’re able to make your point? It’s incredibly frustrating, but unfortunately, it happens all the time. It’s no secret that listening has become harder than ever in today’s workplace (even more since WFH). We have so many devices and notifications that scream for our attention every minute of the day, and we often trick ourselves into believing they’re more important than a conversation unfolding right in front of us.

Unfortunately, if you have a difficult time communicating, you may find yourself not getting your needs met, not getting that promotion. You may also feel anxious and/or insecure. Ineffective communication can lead to many misunderstandings or disagreements, too. 

The ingredients of a great conversation? 

Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening.

Let's dive into the 5 highly effective communication habits you can develop so you get what you want.

1. Use open-ended questions

Don’t go for easy yes/no responses. Have them describe what they are feeling, thinking, or expressing. Don’t do it for them. Liven up the conversation with open-ended questions and you’re guaranteed a more interesting response.

2. Try not to repeat yourself

Repeating yourself sounds condescending and creates boring conversations. 

3. Stay out of the weeds

People don’t care about the little details – the years, names, dates, etc. Peppering your conversation with details is fine but only if it benefits your listener, not your own peace of mind.

4. Be brief

No one likes people who tie others up in conversational knots for hours. We don’t like being talked at, or made to feel as though we could be anyone, just being a silent ear.

5. Listen

The most fundamental concept of all good conversations is the ability to listen. It’s the hardest thing to do but it’s the most important.” You are listening to understand, not just reply, and it’s something that’s often, but should never be forgotten.

When you understand the person you're trying to influence, you're able to create better relationships and it's easier to sell the benefits of your argument to them. 

Bottom line: The more you talk about them, the more important they will feel. The more you listen to them, the more important you will make them feel.

Be a good listener. The more they talk, the more you learn. The more you learn what’s important for them, the more leverage you have.

See you next week again.

With your success in mind…Darine 

P.S. Whenever you're ready to improve your communication skills and have better conversations, click here.